“If We Must Die”

He was sitting right at the edge of the bridge like he might fall down any time. Nothing seem to bother him. With closed eyes he sat there in complete tranquility. When I looked at him it felt like he was sitting there for eternity. This was the game; he liked to play with himself, and called it, "Rebirth". Sometimes he would close his eyes and walk right in the middle of traffic; sometimes he would also hold his breath beneath the water till the very last moment. He was bizarre in his very own way. No one knew what his real name was, people called him by various name. I called him manic.  

I had met him when he was standing right on the edge of terrace wall. From far it looked like he was about to jump. I yelled, shouted he didn't respond, clueless what to do I ran down to call people from the building who could help me. This was our first meeting.

We had managed to save him but instead of thanking us he walked off with anger. Couple of days later I met him again on terrace. This time when I tried to talk to him he just showed me his middle finger and walked off. 

It was 3 am when my doorbell rang as soon as I had open the door pushed me in corner on my own house and started to yell. “What is your problem why did you save me, why did you call people to save my life? You thought I was dying right? What is problem with you people?” I was taken back, I was completely speechless I just sat there listening as he kept shouting and yelling over top of his voice.

The next day in the morning he met me again.

“I know I was rude but I hate when someone disturbs me when I fake my death.”

“Fake your death?” I asked. 

“I like to fake my death I do it every now and then. I like to feel what it will be like when I die. It is death that gives true meaning to our life without death we would have no motivation to live for. That is why I do this fake death exercise. Where your body has to still and here you stand at one place where you know you're one step could be the end of your life. Here I am not in my past nor am I thinking about the future, I am just living in that moment, moment called present. Many fear death many of us live in the future but forget the present. And therefore it’s only after you conquer the fear of death we will be free. Every passing moment is surrounded by death. Death means it is all over but we ignore it (death) and we keep fighting with our self with the world for no reason. We fight on the basis of morals, principles, truth, and reality. Views politics et al. People need to learn and embrace death if they have to live but they don't they are too scared.”

As his words kept playing back in my mind suddenly I was bought back to my senses. I was lying in the bed of an hospital I could see his reflection in the mirror he stared at me with a big smile on his face. I knew he was there to stay here for a long time.

Till Eternity

 It was 2 a.m when her phone rang, he whispered, see you soon she simply smiled.  Vedika had not seen Ahaan   for a year. It was  during the time, when internet was     still an alien word for many of us. The only way to  communicate was via letters or long ISD trunk calls. It  was a typical story, Ahaan was a software engineer and had to fly to a foreign land, Vedika however could not accompany him as she would have to leave her job. Today sleep would evade her; she was later going to get a taxi to the airport with their friends to receive him.   

As she reached airport they checked whether the flight would land on time. It was not the first time Vedika had come to airport, as a child, she used to receive her grandparents who visited once a year. Vedika loved coming to airport, partly because this is where she had last seen Ahaan and also this was one place in Mumbai where she could find a lot of happy faces. People would come to receive and see off their loved ones; she called it ocean of emotions. She would spend hours observing people, some had tears, some hugged, some shook hands, there was laughter there was joy, there was the occasional tinge of sadness. Soon Vedika got engrossed in her own thoughts, as she recalled her past memories with Ahaan.   

Till the last moment she was hoping a call would come and Ahaan would be asked to stay back. They had got married six months earlier and it was an arranged marriage. But in these six months they had grown very fond of each other. They both shared a great bond as they had a lot in common. They both loved to have long walks and long chats. They would spend time chatting with each other, they could speak on any topic and time would fly by. She remembered their sleepless night which they would spent on their terrace chatting with each other. They both loved music, but their tastes in music were completely opposite, she liked classical while Ahaan was a huge fan of Bollywood music. Many times they argued which was better, later they would agree to disagree.  

Her thoughts broke as she saw Aahan step out of the terminal she was ecstatic she wanted to hug him badly, talk about so many thing. Instead she just stood there waiting. His eyes searched her, he saw her and wanted to hug her talk to her tell her everything, their eyes met, they both understood what each other was feeling. Tired of long flight he threw his bag on the floor hugged his friends and characteristically said " Saalo uthaon ab is saamn ko ". And it was only in the end he turned to Vedika and simply took her hand and promised never to let it go again both knew their love would last eternity they had once again found each other. 

Happy Ending

It was the same old story. She woke up and looked outside her window. The sun was shining. Kanika then checked her phone to see if she had received any new messages as always her inbox was full but no one important or she particularly cared about had messaged. As she locked her phone, the calendar notified it was a Sunday. It then struck Kanika that it was going to be yet another dreadful Sunday. 

Kanika heard her mother calling, “Get ready! The guests might come anytime.” Kanika knew that the guests would not arrive till mid afternoon. For the last three years Kanika had spent most of her Sundays hiding her beautiful face, under the mask of her make up, so she could look artificially beautiful.

 

But this Sunday afternoon she had to wait for the guests to come. Once the guests arrived she greeted them with a fake smile. After the initial formalities the guests would then start shooting questions at her. Many had come and gone, many asked the same questions, while some asked unexpected ones, some questions, she thought were really stupid. At times she tried hard not to laugh at and at times she answered them in a sarcastic way. And after spending merely half an hour with her and on the basis of Kanika’s answer they knew whether or not she is the daughter-in-law they were looking for.

Kanika’s diary on the 6th of April, 2014:

Sometimes I wonder whether all the sacrifices I made are worth it. I could have made different choices but I did not. Yes, I love my parents and just don’t want to see them hurt. But it’s been three years that I have been waiting for someone to approve me as their daughter-in-law. It’s a joke right. I know I am not that bad and I also know that I am better than most of them but how long do I have to wait. And how can one decide whether or not I can be a good daughter-in-law when all they do is ask me unnecessary questions. Is this how it’s supposed to work? I want to run away and go far away from all this. You know what hurts me the most is that every time someone comes they bring a hope that may be, this times things will work out and bring an end to all my agony. But look at the cruelty, some of them won’t even call back. And with all hopes are crushed. I am tired, very tired. I simply want to rewind my life back to my college days where I was surrounded by happiness. I want to travel the world. I want to see new places and here I am trapped in my own apathy.

 

Kanika was tired but she never complained because she had learnt to hide that pain behind her smile. She never talked about herself. She never bragged about her problems. She would keep all the secrets to herself and then write it down in her diary. And that made Kanika so strong that even tears had dried out. She just wanted to end this nightmare.

Her mom shouted once again, “Are you ready? They might arrive any time.”

She was looking beautiful as ever. The door bell rang. The guests had arrived. She was called to the hall. She gazed through the room to see who all had come. Everyone was present except the boy. She had never met these people. She had never seen them but they knew everything about her. And surprisingly not many questions were asked. 

Days passed Kanika got busy with her work life. At the end of everyday she would hope to receive some news from the groom’s side. But there was no news came. Kanika and her family waited anxiously to know if the family had approved of her. Then one fine day the groom's father called and informed that Kanika’s horoscopes had matched with their son. And that they would like to hold another meeting to discuss further details. 

Kanika had still not seen the boy. She just knew his name. She was anxious at same time she was happy. Kanika was going to meeting her to be husband next day.  She was having yet another sleepless night, when Kanika’s phone beeped, “So will you marry me?” There was a big smile on her face as she typed a ‘Yes’. Kanika knew who she was going to marry. It was her long lost friend who she had loved dearly during her college days. How did it all happen? How did he manage? She did not bother to ask she had lifetime to find. As for now Kanika was happy once again. 

And today when Kanika narrates her story to their grandchildren, it’s one of the most romantic stories they have heard they say. Though their love was not love at first sight, it was an extraordinary story. May be her wait was just worth it. ​